The real question is who would win in a fight between Hulk and Sperminator?
No, you’re not seeing double. The image on the left is the cover of an all-ages action-adventure video game featuring super-deformed versions of Marvel superheroes. The image on the right is the illustration for an online game developed by a London, Ontario, public-health unit to teach teens about safe sex.
If you get confused, just remember: Marvel Super Hero Squad features a cuddly version of the Incredible Hulk, a green-skinned Mr. Hyde to Bruce Banner’s Dr. Jekyll, while Middlesex-London Sex Squad: Adventures in … Sex City features Sperminator, an enormous luchador. An enormous luchador … with penises for arms. (That’s right. Now you know why I put a black bar over part of the image.)
One has Spider-Man, Iron Man, Storm and Captain America, the other has Willy the Kid, Power Pap, Wonder Vag and Captain Condom. It seems pretty evenly matched to me.
In the interactive game — we’re talking Adventures in … Sex City — teens are asked 25 questions related to sex: “Answering the questions correctly allows the superhero to conquer the evil Sperminator. However, if they answer a question incorrectly, they get shot with sperm by the Sperminator.”
Thankfully, players are protected by “a condom shield” if they answer correctly, allowing “the superhero to discharge the sperm back to the Sperminator.”
There’s no word yet as to whether Paul Tobin will be writing the comic-book adaptation. Stay tuned.