Robot 6

Back off, bub: Man allegedly attacks roommate with Wolverine claws

Kristofer Ryan Huff is the best there is at what he does, and what he does is (allegedly) attack his roommate with replica Wolverine claws.

KSL TV reports the 19-year-old man from Vernal, Utah, was charged Friday with aggravated assault after police say he went after his 20-year-old roommate with a knife and the aforementioned claws — which, luckily for the alleged victim, were likely made from solid machined aluminum and not adamantium.

According to police, the roommate sustained five or six wounds to the head, two to his arm, multiple wounds to his hands and another deep one to the thigh. Although court documents indicate he told officers at the emergency room that he had been in a fight with a group of strangers, he came clean after police found blood at his home.

So what could’ve led to the altercation? A disagreement over the first appearance of Logan’s Patch alias? A dispute over who would win in a fight, Wolverine or Daken? If I had to take a wild guess, it might — might! — have something to do with the roommate dating Huff’s mother, who was also stabbed as she tried to pull her son off the alleged victim. The two men have been “best friends since they were younger,” police say.

Huff was released from the Uintah County Jail after posting $10,000 bail. He’ll appear in court Sept. 10.

(via Blaster)



Okay, someone was pretty seriously hurt here, but… while recognizing that…

Please just tell me the guy was yelling “snikt-y snikt-y snike,” Jason Mewes style, while he was attacking.

Or if not that then yelling, “I’m the best there is at what I do.”

Then the other guy could yell back, “What I do best is date your mom!!”

I suppose some ignorant twit will try and go with; “See! Comic make kids violent! BAN COMICS! BUY GUNS!”

Please tell me the police report actually refers to them as “Wolverine claws.”

In jail, the roommate said – “I’m the best at what I do, and what I do isn’t very nice.”

So they’re 19 and 20 and one of them is dating the other’s mother? Where is this, ah yes, the boonies.

and people wonder why I hate Wolverine. He drives people to violence…

It’s also because as a character he SUCKS.

At least it was a legitimate arrest. I’m sure the police had Probable Claws.


Hell, this was Utah. You stab one of your mothers and you have 2 or 3 backups.

He had to use the Wolverine claws. Thor’s hammer was to heavy to lift!!!

“At least it was a legitimate arrest. I’m sure the police had Probable Claws.”

See… this is why you guys get paid the big bucks.

Guess the only thing funnier for the author would be the man getting killed.

Aw, c’mon. If we can’t make even a small joke about something this absurd, I think it’s time we all pack up and go home.

@PAD Before I saw who wrote that, I was worried that genius was being wasted merely on internet comments. What a relief ^_^

“have something to do with the roommate dating Huff’s mother”

Tragic… but funny as hell! ;p

The only thing that could make this better is if the roommate was trying to protect himself with a Captain America shield.

While witty….you still have to admit, this was a pretty serious case.

Also, can’t wait to see how you like the Emerald City next year! Take a “Ride the Ducks” tour, they’re great!

I am wondering if the attacker is a fan of Wolverine through comic books or just the movies. I also asked this after the Aurora shooting concering the shooter and the Batman character. Turns out he was just into the movies.

“I’m the best there is at what I do… And what I do is YOUR MOM!”

LOL, for all you guys who are taking this way too seriously——


No, worse:


Maybe the pair will marry and he can call his buddy “Step-Dad”.

Snikt !

“and people wonder why I hate Wolverine. He drives people to violence…”

Wrong the violence was driven by a guys best friend was having sex with his mother. That aint something you just have a discussion over.

“Probable claws”…so fresh, dude. That is so fresh! I can’t stop laughing.

And the roommate’s name….Claude Balls.

scary that the guy instead of telling his roommate he did not like him dating his mother went postal using of all things a pair of wolverine claws the guy is lucky the claws did not cut some major artiers or he got stab in the heart. not to mention those claws being sharp enough to cut flesh

The title is wrong. It should be “X-Man allegedly attacks roommate with Wolverine claws”

If he fucked the mom…then yeah…stab away.

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