O Say Can You See: The Greatest Patriotic Super Heroes of All-Time
If you’ve been wondering how Rob Liefeld has been occupying his time since walking off three DC Comics series, scorching the earth around him as he left, the answer, at least in part, is Bloodstrike #34. However, he also found three days to transform a portion of his memoir into a 100-page screenplay about the formation of Image Comics. Of course.
The outspoken creator provided DreamMovieCast with excerpts from the project, tentatively titled Icons, which unlike Manti Te’o’s dead girlfriend, is not a hoax. Or, rather iCons, as Liefeld clarified on Twitter. “Small ‘i’ dubble meaning,” he wrote.
Those looking for Great Moments in Comics History, or even Sordid Tales of the ’90s Boom, will find them in short supply in the three scenes. Instead, we get “Enter Todd McFarlane,” in which Liefeld meets the Spawn creator, who apparently speaks like a cross between Wolverine and a Mickey Spillane character (“You betcha, bud”; also, the destined-to-be-classic line “Fuck that! Fuck that to hell”), or, as characterized by the script, “When Todd speaks, it’s with a Canadian cadence, that of the ‘Eh?” Strange Brew variety, blended with a heavy Boston accent.” The hoser.
Erik Larsen, meanwhile, is described as “a bald man with a slight paunch and hair from his back coming up over the back of his collar.” No word on his cadence.
And then there’s that historic encounter between Liefeld and the Godfather of Gangsta Rap, Eazy-E: “I’m lovin’ me some Youngblood, bro.” But for comics fans, the main attraction is probably the recollection of the meeting with Marvel President Terry Stewart that ended with Liefeld, McFarlane and Jim Lee breaking with the company (or, “plantation”). Although the portrayal of Lee in that scene isn’t exactly flattering, former Marvel Editor-in-Chief Tom DeFalco, who’s depicted as a short, portly, waddling middle-aged man with a large nose and a penchant for eavesdropping, gets the worst treatment by far. However, while DeFalco’s back escapes the screenwriter’s observation, the same can’t be said for his hairy arms.
But, hey, at least Liefeld comes off well. Hopefully we’ll be treated to more, and more polished, excerpts down the road. As long as “Fuck that to hell” survives the final edit, I’ll be happy.
One aspect of iCons that doesn’t require more work is Liefeld’s dream cast (scroll down): Rob Corddry as Erik Larsen? Dabney Coleman as Terry Stewart? That’s brilliant.