Robot 6

With one shot, White House denies Death Star petition

Although signed by 34,435 people, a petition asking the U.S. government to build a Death Star didn’t bring the results its signers were looking for. But at least it gave the White House an excuse to have some fun … and maybe watch Star Wars again in the interest of “research.”

The petition was created last November on the White House’s “We the People” website by Anakin S. from Tatooine John D. from Longmont Colo. He wanted the infamous space station built by 2016, noting “By focusing our defense resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration, and more, and strengthen our national defense.”

Paul Shawcross, chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget, said a Death Star wasn’t in the government’s future, noting its potential cost, moral reasons (“The Administration does not support blowing up planets”) and design issues — “Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?” — but he left out the potential maintenance issues or copyright issues Disney might raise. Shawcross went on to tout the International Space Station, which already exists and probably isn’t in imminent danger of an X-wing strike anytime soon, as well as other aspects of the space program.

“Even though the United States doesn’t have anything that can do the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs, we’ve got two spacecraft leaving the Solar System and we’re building a probe that will fly to the exterior layers of the Sun. We are discovering hundreds of new planets in other star systems and building a much more powerful successor to the Hubble Space Telescope that will see back to the early days of the universe,” Shawcross said. If that new Hubble Telescope doesn’t have a monster-inhabited trash compactor, I think it’s time for another petition.

Via Speakeasy

News From Our Partners

Comments

8 Comments

Major props to Shawcross for having an awesome sense of humor. And complete enough knowledge of Star Wars to make the Kessel Run reference.

Can’t we just use a trillion dollar coin to pay for it?

Aw. But think of all the jobs it would create!

Build The Enterprise instead.

our government is run by f_cking morons… that’s why this thought was even entertained

“our government is run by f_cking morons… that’s why this thought was even entertained”

I bet you’re fun at parties.

Leave a Comment

 


Browse the Robot 6 Archives