Robot 6

Real-life superhero team purges roster, adds fitness requirement

rain-city-crew

Being a real-life superhero just got a little more real for a couple of Seattle-area vigilantes.

Famed costumed activist Phoenix Jones, founder and leader of the Rain City Superhero Movement, disbanded the group in late May only to reform it days later — only with more attention paid to the physical fitness of the budding vigilantes. In a recent interview with Seattle’s KING 5 TV, he said the area’s superhero community had become watered down by by an influx of new members, some of whom employed unethical tactics — carrying illegal weapons or refusing to give police their identities — or weren’t so “super” when it came to physical exertion.

Instead of culling those members, Jones disbanded the team as it was and reformed it with only a select few — five to be exact.

“I’m going to go out there with the most equipped, most protected, smartest team with the best tactical decisions I can, regardless of what that costs me personally,” Jones told the television station.

Rain City Superhero Movement Disassembled? Kind of. Jones said previous members are welcome to apply, but they must, according to King5, “meet his requirements for superhero activism, like five pull-ups and 25 sit-ups in two minutes.”

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Comments

15 Comments

Point of semantics. These dimwits aren’t “superheroes” as they have no superpowers. They aren’t even really heroes. I’ll maybe allow that they live in “real life” in some semblance of the term, but the rest? Come on! ;)

Drew Melbourne

June 4, 2014 at 11:34 am

Huh? Lots of superheroes don’t have superpowers.

I’m pretty sure a similar thing happened that led to the formation of Justice League Detroit (except those guys were disbanded and reformed within ten seconds).

What about a mental fitness requirement?

Wasn’t it Morrison who called super heroes in general “spandex fetishists with a death wish?” I would say it’s more than apt with our MMA washout and his taste for rolling drunks.

five pull ups and twenty five sit ups? give me a fucking break. so basically anyone can join.

^ except for 90% of comic readers

A couple of years ago during the May Day Anarchist riots the cops were ordered to stand down by the mayor, and Phoenix Jones was out pepper spraying vandals out smashing windows.

I can definitely do five pull-ups and 25 sit ups in two minutes, and I would also definitely get my ass kicked if I went out there and tried to do anything like that. Seriously, that would be like a D in a high school physical education class.

So now the ones that were kicked out are going to start a super villain group.

Commissioner Gordon

June 4, 2014 at 4:38 pm

Dude…I could pass that physical. You want to stop crime, you need to step your game up.

not super heroes they are vigilante(are they doing anything vigilante)

I’m pretty sure those are the minimum physical requirements, not the maximum requirements.

Those are some strenuous requirements, verily.

Montford John Greenwood II

June 5, 2014 at 3:56 pm

And what are the police?

Men paid through theft, that fancy themselves heros.

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