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As most readers likely have seen by now, Marvel confirmed last night on The Colbert Report that Sam Wilson is the new Captain America, but you may not caught a heartbroken Stephen Colbert learning from Marvel Chief Creative Officer Joe Quesada that, alas, he won’t be the one taking up the shield. Watch the video below.
Colbert made a pretty good case for himself, saying, “Obviously, you have to be truly patriotic, you have to look decades younger than your actual age. … It should be someone who actually owns Captain America’s shield. That’s right, that’s right — the shield has been up there since 2007. I needed it for my battle against Nickelback.” (It was actually given to Colbert by Quesada during the “Death of Captain America” storyline.)
“I want you to know that I would be proud to wear that letter A,” Colbert continued, “and this time it won’t be because I committed adultery with a 17th-century reverend.”
While Quesada revealed that it would be Wilson, and not Colbert, in the star-spangled costume, he was quick to embrace the idea of a new Falcon — even debuting Kris Anka’s illustration of the TV host in his new role, waxed chest and all.
And Colbert seemed pleased, too, coming up with the new Falcon’s catchphrase: “Why did the Falcon cross the road? For justice, motherfucker.”