Chris Pine Reportedly Closes "Wonder Woman" Deal
On Thursday’s episode of The Nightly Show, host Larry Wilmore turned his attention to “dork diversity,” and fan resistance to such changes as the possibility of a black Spider-Man in the rebooted movie franchise, or the female-led Ghostbusters. To explore the subject, he turned to a panel that included Sana Amanat, Marvel’s director of content and character development, and artist Phil Jimenez.
“Let me see if I can explain it to you,” Wilmore said in his introduction. “Nerds don’t have a problem with women; they have a problem with change. I’ll give you an example: Nerds are upset at black stormtroopers in the new Star Wars movie. Do they have a problem with stormtroopers being black? No. They have a problem with you changing their definition of a stormtrooper. I’ll be a little clearer: If the first time you introduce oatmeal to a nerd it has maple syrup in it, it better have maple syrup every fucking time, or it’s not oatmeal.”
Although it’s the all-star sing-a-long from last night’s final episode of The Colbert Report that’s getting the attention this morning — it involved everyone from Henry Kissinger and Cyndi Lauper to Big Bird and Joe Quesada — it’s what came afterward that holds a special place in our hearts.
Having killed his old nemesis Grimmy the Grim Reaper, Stephen Colbert discovers he’s now immortal (cue Highlander effects), a condition he finds “kinda lonely, a little snacky.” Directionless, he takes to the rooftop, shouting “What do I do know?” while holding two prized possessions that didn’t get put in his yard sale: a Sting sword from The Lord of the Rings, and Captain America’s shield.
Much like Hydra, the subversive organization set on world domination, Stephen Colbert is a master deception, and of the long game.
For the past eight and a half years, we’ve been fooled by the talk-show host, who’s so adept at the art of subterfuge that, in the wake of Steve Rogers’ “death” in 2007, he was bequeathed Captain America’s shield, which to this day is displayed — like a trophy! — on the set of The Colbert Report. Heck, he was so bold, so self-assured, that he even made a run for the White House in the Marvel Universe (a bid that was unsuccessful, thankfully).
Pulitzer Prize-winning author Junot Diaz, an MIT professor who serves on the advisory board of Freedom University, a Georgia organization that provides college-level instructions to all qualified students, regardless of their immigration status, appeared last night on The Colbert Report to discuss immigration reform. As Diaz and host Stephen Colbert “debated” a pathway to citizenship and a guest worker program, the conversation soon turned to … the Superman Question.
“Every generation of Americans has to answer what we call ‘the Superman Question,'” Diaz said. “Superman comes, lands in America, he’s illegal, he’s one of these kids, wrapped up in a red bullfighter’s cape. You’ve got to decide what we’re going to do with Superman. Are we going to give him the boot and say, ‘You know what, you’re an illegal, you’re not an American,’ or are we going to have compassion and say, Listen, this kid was brought here before he knew, this could was brought here and he didn’t have a say in whether he was going to come, but he’s living in this country and –”
Aquaman has been the
caudal fin butt of jokes since at least the 1970s, when the mighty King of the Seven Seas was depicted as the weak link of the animated Super Friends, relying on his teammates for a ride to the nearest body of water. Since then he’s been mocked by everyone from Craig Ferguson and Jeff Dunham to the writers of The Big Bang Theory and Robot Chicken.
And now the Aquatic Ace has been drawn into the 2012 presidential campaign — oh, the humanity! — by none other than Stephen Colbert. On last night’s Colbert Report, the
conservative pundit political humorist took a look at Fox News’ efforts to downplay the meaning of Mitt Romney’s foundering battleground-state poll numbers, saying, “The Romney campaign is only on their third reboot since the convention. We’ve had Businessman Romney, Foreign Policy Romney, Latino Romney. But we still haven’t seen Aqua-Romney. … He uses his mental powers to tell fish that 47 percent of them are just lampreys.”
Longtime Legion Academy student Lamprey could not be reached for comment. Watch the full segment below.